He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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