i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
