Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
