Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
