nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
