careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
