Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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