I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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