hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
