ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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