Nicole vs. Life
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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