I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
