return my video game
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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