I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
