He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my being single is dangerous.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
