if only i could text you this smell
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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