turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
