do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
