Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
