but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
