i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
