Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
