I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think your dad took our porno
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
