before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
