i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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