doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I touched a dick in church today
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
