i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
