Buhtt sex?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
