Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
