I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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