I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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