when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
