dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
