Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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