I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am mentally ready for anal.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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