So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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