I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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