marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
