They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
