I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
