So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
