A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
