It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
