I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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