So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
