if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
