I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
