Soap is not a condiment
operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
