This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
