I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
