Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
